vow

Nagoya police go undercover in drag

Oh, Japan Times. Bringing us the news we need. God bless you. The story above tells the tall tale of Nagoya police going undercover in drag to catch purse snatchers. For reasons unexplained, women police officers were not given the opportunity, and the men were selected for short stature and martial arts expertise.

Despite the obvious preparation, as documented in the photo above, not a single criminal was arrested! I love the policeman’s vow, “We’ll never forgive criminals who target women.” I guess forgiving is one thing, being effective is another.

The only result seems to be increased skill acquisition on the part of “young, skinny” male police officers, and the louche appreciation expressed by passing motorists. Apparently it takes more than high heels, wigs and designer bags to catch a criminal. Or as my sister-in-law says, this sounds more like a “hobby” than a public safety exercise.

Shameless adultery, on Xmas!

Shameless adultery, on Xmas! Kimutaka with Beyonce

I was hoping for the perfect Xmas today. Confronted with such public and shameless adultery, my dreams have now been shattered.

Darling Kimutaku, do our vows mean nothing? Everywhere I turn I see you with that woman. I know that Beyonce is famous, rich and beautiful. But why must you flaunt your indiscretions in public? You have turned peace and love into envy and hate. If you want to reclaim my heart, I am expecting over-sized jewels.

–Your soon-to-be-former-wife