penis

A pattern of dangerous penis-shaped technologies?

Amidst the fear over quakes, water safety, and radioactive fallout, I do not mean to come off as a paranoid conspiracy theorist, or even an antiquated “mother earth” feminist. Still, it is impossible to ignore, in all the dioramas, illustrations, and video footage all the penis-shaped technologies at the heart of Japan’s natural and man-made disaster.

Most obviously, the six reactors at Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant are all boxes (or were boxes, until the explosions) that cleverly conceal what appears to be a giant dildo of radioactive nuclear fuel rods, with torus doughnuts of water at the base and a steel containment vessel pointing this unholy mess of danger and energy sky-ward.

Japan’s protector/daddy/occupier the US military flew its Global Hawk man-less planes to take detailed images of the disaster. These are the drones that support the video distance warfare that delivers bombs throughout Afghanistan, Iraq, and now Libya. It’s good that these planes have some non-military uses, although I nearly spit out my drinking water when I saw on television these giant black penises flying through the air.

The storyline seems to be that we are dependent on reckless technology that happens to look like enormous penises. And that we can only contain the damage they cause by employing their similarly shaped flying cousins. We are then treated to a parade of government officials, energy company spokespeople, and nuclear epxerts– all of whom seem to be male– who promise vaguely that everything is mostly under control.

What is your favorite penis-shaped disaster technology?

Sex symbol tattooed and chained to a penis by his neck

Mads Mikkelsen is in two new movies, Valhalla Rising and Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky. Above, this Danish actor is tattooed and chained by the neck to a giant penis. Swoon!

One of my favorite rolls he played was the villian in the James Bond film Casino Royale, especially the incredibly perverted bondage cock-and-ball torture scene with Daniel Craig as the pig bottom. I can’t believe that was allowed in a “mainstream” movie. Moe is truly everywhere.