Boobs full of faith

Carrie Prejean: Boobs full of faith

Former Miss America contestant Carrie Prejean’s boobs are full of faith, according to E! Online.

Outspoken homophobe with pageant-bought boobs explains, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting breast implants as a Christian. I think it’s a personal decision. I don’t see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn’t get breast implants.”

Nothing says Jesus loves me more than a full-figured tanned body in a bright white bikini.

Senator’s Adultery, Christian Faith, and Dirty Money

Senator John Ensign

I am enjoying too much the endless story of US Senator John Ensign (pictured with his legally wed wife). First there was a story about how his parents offered 96,000 dollars to the husband of his mistress. At the time, he claimed that unlike President Bill Cliinton he committed no crimes. Now it seems he helped set up the husband, his former chief of staff, in a lobbying company by providing him with clients. My favorites part of the story is the large amount of Christian prayer both men and their families undertook. Apparently prayer does not always work! The latest New York Times story comes with a 20 year “interactive timeline.”

The story is soo tawdry, with the handsome senator, tearful promises, religious faith, and constant slippage into carnality. Here’s a sample:

At the urging of foundation leaders, Mr. Ensign agreed to write a good-bye letter to Cynthia Hampton and send it by overnight mail. “What I did with you was a mistake,” he wrote in longhand. “I was completely self-centered and only thinking of myself. I used you for my own pleasure.”

But immediately after the confrontation, the senator called Ms. Hampton and told her to disregard the letter, Ms. Hampton said. The relationship would continue for six more months.

Moe in America: Saddlebacking

Who says there’s no moe in Amerika? In honor of Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church,  popular homophobe, and inaugural preacher, Dan Savage has created a new word, saddlebacking.

Saddlebacking: sad•dle•back•ing \ˈsa-dəl-ˈba-kiŋ\ vb [fr. Saddleback Church] (2009): the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities
After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she’s saving herself for marriage.

For more information on Rich Warren, author of Purpose Driven Life, and his Saddleback Church:

Nearly Asian, RIP

If you spend as much time online as me, some of your closest friends are online only. Every day you visit their blog, read about their adventures, and feel that you are learning something about another person who in some ways shares your city or world.

Without any notice, right after the new year started, Nearly Asian, my favorite foreign blogger in Tokyo, disappeared. When I click my bookmark, I get a Blogger page in Japanese saying that it’s now private and can only be accessed by those who email him. Of course I don’t have his email. In fact, his was the only blog I followed that accepted *no* comments.

What are his newest obsessions? Does he still post daily? Will I never hear more strange stories from him?

For those of you who don’t know Nearly Asian, he described himself as a 20-something, half-Japanese creative professional living in trendy Shimokitazawa. His daily stories included his office, Tokyo events, and biking. But mostly they revolved around his obsessions with the older office lady, the flight attendant, and the other hapa he met biking.

Most peculiar were two contradictory threads. Nearly Asian was an avowed chikan. A chikan is someone who commits a crime by inappropriately touching women in crowded trains. His most over-the-top post involved his story of joining the crowds on Emperor’s Day, and, unhhhh, to put it more modestly than he did, leaving his fluids on a woman’s back. That she didn’t immediately call the cops, or punch him, raised issues of credibility, yet somehow the sheer perversion of the story had me even more hooked than ever.

The contradictory occasional theme was that he’s a born-again Christian. Ah, one of *the* three most popular American stereotypes held by Asians (that we are all fat, smell bad, and are religious freaks). Every time he brought it up, I was nauseated, but at the same time, it added to the perversion of his persona.

So why did the blog disappear? Did his mother/cousin/co-worker/bike crush learn his identity and read his blog? If anyone knows, please leave a comment (or email me directly). I also wonder if I may have met Nearly Asian in person a year ago through mutual friends.

Is anyone else suffering from the sudden and inexplicable disappearance of an internet friend?